Taking comfort and looking for answers at the bottom of bottles, but all I did was numb hurts; a coping mechanism.
Well back to that NYSC night, still staring at the ceiling, I stopped looking for answers under that bottle or cup. I had a knowing that the answers I needed weren't there (obviously lol). Slowly, Papa took me into a season of realignment. Now realignments never come in the shape or form you want, this realignments were painful moments. Have you ever had a Chiropractic session, that's what it felt like or still feeling like in some cases.
“Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground" Psalm 143:10
My heart was in a state, so was my mind, so I prayed that Father God will align my heart to His, I wanted to feel what He felt when He saw me watching porn, drinking or smoking - there was no way I could do it myself. It is still a journey for me, but I am choosing to give every urge to God. In this space of vulnerability, I am covered by His Love and Blood.
It is true this new space of vulnerability with Father God that I am living daily in His freedom; He is teaching my heart to be in tune with His.
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